Have you ever had a day with one bad experience after another that makes you check in the mirror for an “L” sign plastered somewhere on your body? Seems you are the target of “whatever can go wrong today belongs ‘here.’” Sometimes it frustrates, sometimes it creates doomsday anxieties, and sometimes it makes you feel like you’re a bad person and deserve this grief. It all feels bad. You tell yourself, “It’s going to be that kind of day and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t seem to do anything right anyway, so why try?”

And the truth is, the longer you tell yourself you can’t, the harder it will be to make a change that allows you to see the possibility of what you can do.

A family having fun together at home.

Sometimes, your brain helps you give up in a way that is actually a surrender. The difference is, by surrendering the fight, you give the brain space to put things into perspective. Something in that surrender and acceptance of things as they are signals the brain to start working on recovery. It gives you a chance to refuel, turn a corner, pivot, see things from a different perspective. The brain will re-align the trajectory and open up your vision and ideas about an alternative.

The science behind biofeedback and neuroplasticity support the idea that positive thoughts impact the decisions we make and our ability to cope with adversity. Do you ever wonder how those glass-half-full people keep that perspective? One of the most powerful tools you have to support your mental health and wellness is the power of positive thoughts, attitudes, and language. Included in these are affirmations, positive words and tone, acts of kindness, and hopefulness.

Having a positive attitude and perspective allows us to see the silver linings even in some very dark clouds. It gives us the opportunity to acknowledge our blessings and helps build resilience. And we often find that we generate more positivity by paying it forward. Positivity has a self-fulfilling prophecy effect. It is powerful. It stimulates ideas and energy to do something different.

So next time someone or something is telling you what not to do, stop and ask, “What do you want me to do?” When you hear the positive, let your brain and heart go forward.

You may find more helpful tips and tools at this website to help you build a positive perspective and approach to living well.


1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2939454/

2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21482550/

Carmalita Marshall Kemayo
Author: Carmalita Marshall Kemayo, LMFT (License #130243 CA)